Life is no Nintendo game, there are no re-dos , no unlimited lives, and no reset button. You have only this one shot and every choice you make will shape your life. How are you choosing your path life to look? Are you making your own decisions or are you listening to what people are whispering in your ear?
I recently celebrated my 24th birthday and finally made the decision I had been wanting to make for a long time. That is that this year I will take risks that I believe will ultimately improve my life. I know that a lot of people think that I am on a pretty crazy path, and it’s true. I’ve made some wild moves to pursue what I’m looking for. I am the first to admit that I have been making some pretty risky decisions, but I can’t help but feel like these decisions are going to lead to a kick ass year.
When I was growing up I had always looked to my dad for advice in every aspect of my life. I’d weigh out the pros and cons and 95% of the time I would always do what my dad told me I should do. I’ve been doing this for 24 years and with this New Year of my life I am finally ready to put my resolutions into action. This year I’ve taken more risks than I’ve ever had in my personal and professional life and for the first time I didn’t ask my dad for advice before I made the final decision. I just did what I wanted to do.
After college, like many recent graduates, I stressed about finding a job as soon as I could. My dad told me I shouldn’t be picky, so I accepted a job with a great company, even though, deep down, I knew it wasn’t the right fit for me. While working I realized something so obvious that I am surprised it took me as long to realize as it did; I’m actively choosing to be miserable. So ridiculous, right? But I stuck with the job under the idea that I should be thankful to be employed and should not be picky, until quite recently.
The number one thing I’ve learned from my first year post-grad life and what I would tell anyone graduating now, is that you don’t have to love your job, but at the very least you should, and are allowed to, like some aspect of your job. You don’t have to go for the first opportunity that presents itself and it’s ok to be a little picky about your first job.
Something that I think is important to keep in mind when it comes to any aspect of employment is to know your own self-worth. You have something to offer. I feel like sometimes people forget that in the job searching/interviewing process. When you go to an interview you have to remember that you are interviewing them too. You need to also decide if they’re worth your time, energy, and if you will be happy there. This may sound kind of arrogant, but it’s true.
Which brings me to one of the major risks I’ve ever taken…I quit my job!
I’ll be unemployed starting May 15 and moving to Minneapolis June 1st. I’ve been thinking about quitting for some time now, but never actually thought I could do it. I’d talk to my best friends, and writers of the Muse, Elizabeth and Sam about it a lot and I am sure they can more than attest to how much I hated my job. Still, the risks of quitting and not finding another job seemed too high. (My dad talking in my head) Would I find another job? What do I have to offer another employer? While all these questions were racing through my head, I realized something else I seemed to have forgotten, I’m 24. That is young! If I’m going to take risks it should be now while I don’t have to truly consider another person in my decisions. I can be completely selfish. Which I finally realized is completely ok for me to do too right now. Quitting without another job sounds crazy, because it kind of is, but it’s also exciting! An entire new city with so many opportunities, not just for jobs, but anything really. I could get a puppy, get employed at my dream company or meet Tom Hiddleston! I mean the possibilities are really endless.
Don’t get me wrong. I also have thought of the not so fabulous possibilities too. Where I could find myself somehow living with a stray cat who I am too afraid to kick out(I’m allergic), being unable to pay my bills, having to work at the BK lounge and meeting someone who is the exact opposite of Tom Hiddleston. But if this does happen (cross your fingers it doesn’t)at least I can say that I tried and I’ll learn from it and be better for it.
Most of you don’t know me very well, but Sam once told me that I hold my cards very close to my chest. That couldn’t be more true. I would consider myself more of a private person. I don’t share too much with anyone unless I am 100% sure that I can trust them and even then, sometimes I have a difficult time talking to people that I absolutely trust. Trusting someone with my feelings is one of the most difficult things for me to do and even when I feel like I am opening up, I know that I part of me is still holding back. Honestly, this is probably why I’ve never had a serious long-term relationship and why I am always a bit hesitant to use the word “relationships” to describe these…”things”? (We’ll go with that). But, I’ve learned quite recently that you need to take risks and try being with someone. You have to really put yourself out there, put it all out on the line, and don’t hold back, even though you know it might end in heartache. You can’t let the chance that something bad will happen keep you from discovering something wonderful.
I am working on that.
Finally, what I’ve learned from my most recent risk in the dating world is that when you take a risk and start to put your self out side of your comfort zone that nagging feeling of, “what if?” goes away.
In this case, I went for it and I definitely learned a lot about what things I need from someone in order to be with them in the future. I learned to not be shy about asking for more and learned how to give of myself more deeply.
I also learned its ok to cry. Not just for that day, but maybe for a couple days, and even then still feel the dull ache for a while. But, just let it out. Everyone should be proud of themselves for taking such a risk with their hearts and making themselves vulnerable. It’s important to remember that you will be ok. There is clearly someone better or maybe the timing was just off, but don’t wait around. I’m a big believer in fate and if it’s meant to be, it will happen naturally.
I know it is said all the time, but lean on your friends during this time, call them up or have a girl’s night to talk about.
If you end up thinking of him/her later that’s completely normal. They were a person you really cared about at one point and you’re going to wonder how they’re doing. Then, get back out there! Don’t be afraid that it might happen again, because you know what, it might, “but it also might turn out that you find the person that makes it all worth while!” – Sam (sorry Gabs, has to add a bit ;) )
Overall, I’m happy with the risks I’ve taken. It’s a crazy path and I have no idea where it’s taking me., but that’s what makes it exciting. I’m ready for the adventure and fingers crossed it goes well!
Cheers everybody and good luck with the rest of the year!!
– Gabby J.